Except the Past
by Katie Black
Summary: Lily and James Potter have been killed, Peter Pettigrew is believed to be dead, and Sirius Black is responible for it all. As Nearly Headless Nick goes through old school photos he can only feel bad for Remus Lupin for has nothing left...except the past.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling. I do not own anything except for the plot and new minor characters. Such as Cassy and Melody. Special thanks to iviolinist (Liz) who helped me along the way. I owe you more than I can ever repay. Thank you.  
  
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"Except the Past" Chapter One: The People in the Pictures  
  
The day was crisp. A cool breeze went through the castle's many corridors and an eerie quietness could be heard throughout the whole of Hogwarts as Nearly Headless Nick sat, or rather floated, in the Hogwarts Archives room. Just yesterday James and Lily Potter had been killed by Lord Voldermort, the greatest adversary the wizarding world had ever faced. The depravity he had instilled upon the world would not easily be washed away by sad tears or the sweat from members of the Ministry working in front of their desks, but by time alone. While most of the wizarding world was out celebrating Voldemort's downfall, despite the gravity that had just befallen the Potter family, Nick sat in the banal archive room looking through old photographs of the Gryffindor Alumni.  
  
The first photo he picked up was of Lily in her first year. She had been a short girl of just 1.4986 meters (4 ft. 11 in.), her smooth, blood red hair going down to the middle of her back and curling at the end. Her eyes were much too large for her; they seemed to occupy her entire head. Nick gave a little laugh, James used to call her the green-eyed monster and boy, had it fit her then. The picture blinked and it was amazing how big those eyes really were and how bright! Her teeth, while perfect in size, were a little crooked, but she smiled a full smile, her checks blushing around the sides. Lily had been thin, even for an eleven-year-old; her small Gryffindor robes seemed to devour her, going onto the ground and almost to the middle of her hands. Slung over her shoulder was a huge bag, filled to the brim with books, and a quill was stuck behind her ear. Lily was one of the smartest witches in Hogwarts, the only one as a matter of fact, who Professor McGonagall was known to extol.  
  
The next few pictures were mostly group shots, but the next picture that caught Nick's eyes was a picture of the Marauders from their fifth year, taken at the Quidditch pitch. There, Nick could clearly see Remus Lupin, the announcer, Peter Pettigrew, who at the moment was jumping up and down, Sirius Black, and James Potter. How could this Sirius Black ever betray James Potter, Nick thought. He remembered them well, always pulling pranks, but the best of friends. Now Sirius had betrayed James and Lily.  
  
In the middle of the photo, covered in dirt and mud, his glasses askew, stood James Potter. A Shooting Star was slung over his shoulder and in his other hand was the tiny golden Snitch, its wings still fluttering. A huge grin was plastered across James' face and his brown eyes, which most of the girls referred to as "chocolate", were twinkling. His black hair, while caked with mud, was poking up in the back and incredibly messy. James had the build of a true Quidditch player; he was tall, at least 1.7526 meters (5 ft. 9 in.), and appeared lanky, but he was truly built of pure muscle. If you looked close enough, you could see a scar in the middle of his hand, between the thumb and index finger. During September of that year something had happened. James had been badly scarred on his hands and arms but no one knew why and no one really wanted to ask. This picture was taken when James had become what most people knew him as: the gorgeous guy who was chased by nearly every girl within fifty miles, Muggle or witch. No one seemed to remember the small boy who wouldn't go near a broom if his life depended on it.  
  
The next 20 pictures were other Gryffindor pictures from balls and a few of the Slytherins in odd clothing combinations, their hair flashing bright pinks-one was even colored green for Christmas.  
  
The last photo Nick came across was the one he was looking for; it was of the Marauders and their girlfriends: Arabella Figg, Lily Evans, Cassy Clearwater, and Melody Jockins. This picture was on the Hogwarts grounds 3 days before their graduation and taken in front of the lake. They were all on a huge, checkered picnic blanket. Arabella was leaning against Sirius; chest as he ran a hand slowly through her long black hair, his blue eyes were not mischievous, but content.  
  
Next to Sirius and Arabella sat Peter and Melody. They were a chubby couple, but they looked cute together and seemed right for each other. Nick remembered how crushed Peter was when Melody had been killed only two months after graduation. Melody had been working for the Order and had been killed on a mission. Peter hadn't lost it then, or wept, but he had vowed to get revenge for it.  
  
Remus Lupin was next, his girlfriend Cassy curled up in his lap. Nick gave out a sigh, poor Remus. Cassy had been killed along with Melody now Lily and James were gone as well. Sirius was dead as well in a way; once the Ministry found him, he was going straight to Azkaban.  
  
Then came Lily and James. They had started dating at the end of fifth year, much to the disappointment of the female population and many of the males, since Lily had bloomed like her namesake. She had begun to fill out at the beginning of 5th year and was no longer a twig, but a well proportioned woman with, as Sirius had one day put it, "more curves than goblins in Gringotts." Lily's hair was now longer than in her 1st year; in fact, it trailed down to her waist when she let it, but now it was pulled back in a loose bun, stray pieces framing her face. Her face had also thinned out a bit and gotten a tad longer so now you could see her high cheekbones and her eyes fit perfectly into her head, like two jewels in a ring setting.  
  
Now she was smiling, not a huge toothy grin, but a small content smile. The picture laughed and you could see that her teeth were now perfectly straight. The Lily in the picture began to read a book whose title Fairytales to James, whose chest her head was leaning on. James had not changed drastically since 5th year; in fact, he was almost the same. He still had the body of an athlete; if anything, it was more finely toned. He no longer looked lanky but muscular, even through his robes. The scars on his hands now appeared just as wrinkles and his face showed a new awareness, a knowledge that had escaped him in his 5th year.  
  
During the summer between James' 6th and 7th year his family had been tracked down and killed one by one at the wand of none other than Voldermort. James remembered those times and knew they would never really come to an end until Voldermort was dead. He had even thought of breaking up with Lily to save her from an early grave, but she would have none of it. As far as she was concerned, their love was stronger than any Unforgivable Curse and he wasn't getting rid of her that easily. He had felt both a dread and a feeling of relief at these words.  
  
In the picture, James pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. His eyes, while still chocolate brown, were pools of worry. His black hair, messy all around, fell into disarray around his face and a look of concentration was set in his stature. James was a man not ready for the future, but still accepting it. His gaze lingered on Lily before taking a glance at the couples around him. His arms wrapped around Lily tighter and his Adam's apple bobbed up for a second.  
  
Nick watched as James and Lily rocked back and forth on the blanket. Lily and James were gone, Peter was gone, and Sirius was responsible. Pearly tears fell from Nick's face and slipped through the stone floor as he floated up to the owlery to send this photo to Remus Lupin. The poor man had nothing left except the past. 


	2. Looking Back

Disclaimer: Not mine, well the plot is but the characters and the world belong to J.K. I just play around with the characters while starying in the canon realm.  
  
Author's Note: Just to tie up chapter one  
  
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Chapter Two: Looking Back  
  
Remus Lupin sat in the ragged, worn down chair of his apartment. The wallpaper peeled off the sides of the walls, revealing a horrid yellow paint, which at one point had covered the entire house. The only light in the room was the thin sun streak that passed through a crack in the drapes, falling onto his mug of butterbeer. Butterbeer, as most would describe it, was wonderful! It tasted warm and the foam would always tickle your nose as you took a drink of the warm mixture. Remus remembered his first butterbeer; he had been a rambunctious eleven-year-old boy. Not just any boy, but a wizard, not to mention a werewolf. That first butterbeer had warmed his body against the bitter blizzard that plagued the whole world outside of the Three Broomsticks as he sat and shared it with his friends, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter. This butterbeer didn't warm his soul or tickle his nose; it tasted insipid and his soul was not warm, but an icy cold that nothing could temper. His friends were gone, taken away from him in a matter of two days. How long ago was that now, he asked himself. It might have been a year ago or a week ago, but the pain was fresh. It always would be there, plaguing his dreams with nightmares and his moments awake with callous memories that refused to go away. Quidditch matches,; balls,; games of chess by the fire; playing pranks on the whole of Hogwarts; picnics by the lake; these memories cut into his heart over and over again like a sharp knife.  
  
He could end this, he thought to himself. End it all; be indulgent and save himself from his past. He lifted his wand out of the pocket of his robe.  
  
When Remus had joined the Order, a defense group against Lord Voldemort, he had learned a spell that could end his life and the incessant pain that consumed his soul. The spell was meant to end your life; taking any information locked in your brain with you, but would work just as well now.  
  
His heartbeat was erratic as his mind called back the spell, only to be interrupted from his thoughts by a large tawny owl coming through the window, pulling the drapes back further as it entered. Remus looked at it for a moment, considering if he should end it now or wait until he read the note tied to the owl's leg. Deciding to find out who was left to send him a note, he dropped his wand back into the pocket of his robe and untied the note from the owl's leg. It gave a hoot before turning, taking a sip of the butterbeer and pecking a nearby roll that lay upon the table before disappearing through the window from whence he came.  
  
Remus unrolled the letter; there was a note and three pictures attached. The photos were of Lily, his dead friend. Another was of Remus with James Potter (another newly deceased buddy), Peter Pettigrew (too brave for his own good, - going after Sirius to avenge James and Lily getting himself killed in the process), and Sirius Black. Sirius Black, the biggest prankster, the best man at James' and Lily's wedding, Harry's godfather, high-ranking member of the Order, Secret Keeper, spy, and killer. Sirius was the one to censure for this all, not Voldemort. While Voldemort was the one who killed forthright, Sirius was the one who killed from within. He had needed not a wand or weapon to kill Remus - he had done it through betrayal.  
  
They were all on the Quidditch pitch, smiles on their faces, bouncing up and down. You could see the scars on James' hand from the night Remus, while in his werewolf form, had almost attacked Severus Snape. James had gotten in the way, almost getting killed. That had haunted Remus, but now it was of small measure compared to the recent events, which did not teeter on the brink of death but flowed over the edge.  
  
Before looking at the last photograph he decided to read the letter. It was from Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor Tower.  
  
Dear Remus , I know the time is hard; it is for all of us. Everyone who knew Lily, James, Peter, and Sirius has in part died, but there is hope. In the darkness there is light, it may be hard to see now, but it's there in the distance flickering so we can see it. Your future will always be darkened by the past. Only by remembering the good times we have had can we face what's to come. Harry has a future, it may always be marred by what has passed before but he continues on and so must you. His family is gone, Remus. You have to be there for him when the weight of the past, both his and yours, falls on his shoulders. No one can truly be blamed for the past; the fates have a way of toying with us just to see how far we'll travel to get to that light. You must make it to the end of that tunnel to help the future and Harry. Keep the past with you. -Nick  
  
Remus turned to the last photo; it was of him and the gang by the lake before graduation. Tapping his pocket, he felt his wand there. He would not need it for a while, 12 years in fact, when he would become a professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. He felt a tear fall down his cheek. They were gone from the world, but they would always be with him in his heart. They would always be alive in his memories, which would not haunt like inner demons, but remind him of what he had. For happiness, true happiness, is great no matter how long it lasts.  
  
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